My name is Craig Tucker
Last week was my birthday
My Grandma gave me a check for a hundred dollars, I was so happy
But then, four kids from school came to my house and said I should use my hundred dollars to invest in becoming a Peruvian flute band
They promised I would double my money in one afternoon
But the government arrested us along with all the other Peruvian flute bands and took us to an internment camp in Miami
We begged to go home, but instead the government told us they were sending us to Peru
And so that is now why I'm in Peru
If I die, let it be known that it is because four guys I don't even like from school lied to me and took my birthday money