If I could know what to do
An' the right time to do it
When to laze around
An’ when to get to it
Mama, I'd be a true blue guru man

If l knew how to quit
When I'm ahead
An’ stop acting like a crazy fool instead
Mama, I'd be a true blue guru man

If l could know when to stop
An' leave the bottle alone
When to grab my coat an' go on home
I wouldn't be here in the courthouse now

When I can tip my hat
An' walk out the door
Without having that "just one more"
Mama, I'll be a true blue guru man

If I could know what to do
An' the right time to do it
When to laze around
An’ when to get to it
Mama, I’d be a true blue guru man
I'm gonna tell the judge
I went ’round the bend
Gonna give him my word
It won't happen again

One day I'll be a true blue guru man
Just set me free an' I’ll be a guru man