[Intro, spoken: Kaveh, Tighnari , Cyno]
"That's why rooming with Alhaitham is the worst."
"Oh, and another thing."
"He's been wearing my limited edition weasel house slippers!"

"Kaveh, stop complaining about Alhaitham."
"Besides, why would he wear your slippers?"
"He's so much richer than you."
"If he wanted, he could buy thousand of them."

"On top of everything else, I think I'm getting sick..."
"At the mention of Alhaitham maybe"

"Kaveh, as a Forest Watcher, I've seen my share of ailments."
"If you'd like, with Cyno's help, I can diagnose you"

"Do you think this is serious?"
"Tell me what you see"

[Verse: Tighnari, Kaveh]
Cheeks are sunken
Like an old man's as he dies (What?)
And from the bulging of your eyes
You got the most severe of cases
(That's just how my face is!)
[Pre-Chorus: Tighnari, Cyno]
Posture's shrunken
Nausea is your new routine
It's up to us to intervene
And shed a light on what your symptoms mean

[Chorus: Tighnari, Kaveh, Cyno]
All the indicators tell us
You're jealous (Huh?)
It's safe to say Alhaitham's great renown
In Teyvat brings you down

They tell us
You're jealous
You're diagnosed
Let's toast to nature's law
Your symptoms have a cause

[Spoken: Kaveh]
"This is crazy!"
"What makes you think I'm jealous of Alhaitham?"

[Verse 2: Cyno, Kaveh]
It's his look
It's his vibe
It's his status as a scribe
Bet you nag him like a spouse
Because you can't afford his house (Hey!)
It's the "clap, clap, clap" he got as Acting Grand Sage
Do you "snap, snap, snap" because his youth remind you of your age?
Turn the page!
It could be the fact that you want his wage
Since you're always short of Mora
(You know, debt like I know flora)
For a second just reflect
And respect our intellect
Our theory isn't off-the-cuff it's obvious

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH"

[Chorus: Lambad, Cyno, Tighnari, All]
Fellas, he's jealous (C'mon)
No wonder why if I was broke as you
I'd feel pathetic too
As clues accrue
They tell us
You're jealous
You're diagnosed!
Let's toast to nature's law
Your symptoms have a cause

[Bridge: Tighnari]
You've been in denial a while
But it'd be best if you confess the way you really feel
You'd share it
We'd hear it
Your spirit would soar
There's no need to conceal
What could help you to heal
[Chorus: Tighnari, Cyno, All]
So tell us, you're jealous
We're zealous
'Cause we've been there before
You'd share it
We'd hear it
Your spirit would soar

(Tell us, you're jealous)
The truth is a useful tool
(Tell us, you're jealous)
Let's move on, so we can duel
(Tell us, you're jealous)
You don't have to play pretend
(Tell us, you're jealous)
Or this song will never end!

[Outro, spoken: Kaveh, Alhaitham]
I'm jealous!
I knew it!
Alhaitham!!