[HOLLYWOOD HAG SUPERSTAR JOAN]
The moral of the story is simple and true
Once upon a time, Hollywood has real stars

[MGM QUEEN JOAN]
Spent nearly 50 years in the biz
Joan!

[MOMMIE DEAREST JOAN]
Played every kind of broad that there is
Joan!

[NO MORE WIRE HANGERS JOAN]
That damn film took my reputation to the trash
Should've redone my will, left Christina some cash

[MGM QUEEN JOAN, MOMMIE DEAREST JOAN, AND NO MORE WIRE HANGERS JOAN]
Alas
I'm still Joan!

[BRING ME THE AX JOAN]
Eyebrows and shoulder pads were my thing
Joan!

[LET'S GO JOAN]
Did I mention 3 Oscar noms and a win
Joan!
[NOT MY FIRST RODEO JOAN]
You'd think that would get me some respect on the street
But Faye Dunaway with my whole legacy

[BRING ME THE AX JOAN, LET'S GO JOAN, NOT MY FIRST RODEO JOAN]
Alas
I'm still Joan!

[HOLLYWOOD HAG SUPERSTAR]
I'm not just a clean freak with some OCD
At least you drag queens will remember me!

[MGM QUEEN JOAN]
Who, me?

[MOMMIE DEAREST JOAN]
Who, me?

[NO MORE WIRE HANGERS JOAN]
At least

[BRING ME THE AX JOAN]
At least

[LET'S GO JOAN]
A beast
[NOT MY FIRST RODEO JOAN]
Barbara, please!

[HOLLYWOOD HAG SUPERSTAR]
Deceased

Who, me?

[ALL]
I'm
Still
Joan!