1. You used to take me parking in your rusty Chevrolet
We'd go out to the Palmer dump and watch the bears at play
Now the honeymoon is over you don't take me anyplace
You just lay there on the sofa pouring beer into your face

2. You used to go out jogging and you worked out real hard
You looked just like Jane Fonda in your hot pink leotards
Now you look just like Godzilla with your 52 inch hips
And the hair keeps getting thicker upon your upper lip

Chorus:
We're the rotund family we never get along
We love to drive each other nuts and argue all day long
But when we order pizza that's one time we all agree
Cause no one loves that pizza like the rotund family
Pepperoni capicolli mounds of mushrooms too
Mozzarella mortadella baby swiss and bleu
Anchovies and olives and lots of cudighi
That's the perfect pizza for the rotund family

3. Those two brain dead kids of yours they both take after you
They sit like stumps and watch tv and eat till they turn blue
It's two days after payday and they ate up all my pay
And I haven't seen the dog or cat since lunchtime yesterday

4. It's you that they take after you no good lazy bum
You all show up like callouses when all the work is done
If I ever wanna get some help around the house
I'll have to take some dynamite and blow you off the couch