[Intro]
The time is the present, 1963
And imagine if you will, a scene in West Germany where my friends and I are having a little party
It's quite a private party
We're celebrating the coming holiday season, Christmas and the New Year

[Verse 1]
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree (La, la, la, la)

[Verse 2]
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 3]
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 4]
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four top Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree
[Verse 5]
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love said to me
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 6]
On the sixth day of Christmas
We received from Israel (Ja?)
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 7]
On the seventh day of Christmas
The US sent us free
Seven more million dollars
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree
[Verse 8]
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A Telefunken H-Bomb
(A Telefunken H-Bomb? Ja, a Telefunken H-Bomb
Let me show you this Telefunken H-Bomb
It looks just like an ordinary Telefunken Radio
Except when you're trying to get England
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ENGLAND!)
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 9]
On the ninth day of Christmas
We heard officially
"They got the wrong Eichmann"
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree
[Verse 10]
On the tenth day of Christmas
Long Island sent us free
Ten swastika scribblers
"Got the wrong Eichmann"
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 11]
On the eleventh day of Christmas
We heard officially
"Monocles are back!"
Ten swastika scribblers
"Got the wrong Eichmann"
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

[Verse 12]
On the twelfth day of Christmas
They told all Germany
"HE is still alive"
"Monocles are back"
Ten swastika scribblers
"Got the wrong Eichmann"
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
"To Hell with Adenauer"
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear (Merry Christmas, everybody) tree