You think you’re so smart
You think you’re so cool
Because you won big
When the divorce judge ruled

He said sell the house
Give the money to you
But you haven’t won yet:
Guess what I’m gonna do?
I’m gonna blow myself up

People say that it’s dumb
And I’m an unbalanced man
But the logic is clear
In my foolproof plan (As follows:)
I’m gonna blow myself up
So you don’t get what you want
And I’m gonna be dead
So you’ll feel really bad
And you’ll wish that you’d been
A little nicer to me
I’m gonna blow myself up

It’s the perfect solution
I heartily recommend it
For every slight and intrusion
And every time you’re offended

Your boss is a jerk
A long line for one clerk
You can’t find your keys
Nothing good on TV
Just blow yourself up

Kids won’t do their chores
Just blow yourself up
The dog peed on the floor
Just blow yourself up
The waiter’s taking to long
Just blow yourself up
Got no idea for a song
Just blow yourself up