Laugh when he jokes, slap him when he chokes
It's time to give up the smokes
And ohh when he cries don't wipe his eyes
Take the wine from the swine
And remind him of his crimes
Ohh in another world............
Yeah he could wear a dress
Imagine his suprise when he opened his eyes
And I'd run the lawnmower over his thighs
Imagine the disturbance
At the time of the occurance
When his life became a burden
And we laughed at his cries
Welcome to the cheap seats
Where your life's seen through cracked spectacles