Well you look smart
But it's just booksmarts
'Cause you don't act so smart
Around us lately
'Cause throwing canaries (throwing canaries)
At your friends
Is not a sign of affection

Did you join the Slug Club, baby
So you could network
With the kids with connections
Or was it for Slughorn's food?
'Cause the food in the dining hall (food in the dining hall)
C'mon Hermione
Dining hall food's pretty good

One thousand owls
Won't tell us if you're crazy
One thousand owls
Can't keep Ron from mauling Lavender Brown

You keep finding McLaggen
Now you're taking him to
The Christmas party
Don't you know that he's just a tool?
I bet he likes crap bands
I heard he has Jock Jams
C'mon Hermione
You're making things pretty awkward here (awkward)