We were playing wizard chess this Christmas
We were playing wizard chess this Christmas
When you came down to the Burrow to ask us
To stop the game and start to play a new one down at the Ministry

You want us as your pin-up stooge
For policies that we won't approve
We're Dumbledore's man, through and through
And our loyalty lies with the truth

I'm not gonna be your mascot
I'm not gonna dance for the Ministry, no
I'm not gonna be your mascot
I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit for you
And your political aspirations
I won't pretend that things are cool
For your approval ratings

Oh Rufus Scrimgeour
I'm inclined to believe you're a vampire
'Cause you're going suck the truth
You're going to suck the truth out of the situation at hand

And we're not gonna win this war
We're not gonna win this war with lies (lies)
Lies (lies)
Lies
Lies (lies)
Lies (lies)
Lies!
I'm not gonna be your mascot
I'm not gonna dance for the Ministry, no
I'm not gonna be your mascot
I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, no
I'm not gonna be your mascot
I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, no
I'm not gonna be your mascot
I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, no
I'm not gonna be your mascot (NO!)
I'm not gonna dance for the Ministry, no
I'm not gonna be your mascot (NO!)
I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, oh no