[Intro: Colin, Greg, and vocalists]
Hoo-ha-he-hoo-he-ha-ha-he-ha-ha-hoo

[Verse 1: Colin, Greg, and vocalists]
Dangerous toys are being sold at Christmas-time
Dangerous toys are in department stores
They slipped right through the statutory safety net
This Christmas-time, don't give a dangerous toy

[Chorus 1: Colin, Greg, and vocalists]
They're mostly built in massive Chinese factories
And their designs are iffy from the start
They leave a trail of post-traumatic injury
Don't ever give a child a gift-wrapped dangerous toy

[Interlude: Colin, Greg, and vocalists]
Ha-he-he-ho-ha-ho-ha-ho-ho-he-he-ho

[Verse 2: Colin, Greg, and vocalists, Colin]
Dangеrous toys have bits that can be choked upon (*Choking sounds*)
Dangеrous toys can cause you injury (Ooh, yow! Ow!)
They pose a hazard to the general populous
No one is safe from dangerous Christmas toys

[Chorus 2: Colin, Greg, and vocalists]
You'll only leave a trail of Christmas misery
Who wants to give a gift that causes pain?
Who wants to spend their Christmas day in hospital?
Don't hurt the ones you love by giving dangerous toys
[Outro: Colin, Greg, and vocalists, Colin]
(Ha-hoo-he-he-ha-hoo-ha-he-he-hoo-ha-hoo...)

(Release da gong)
*Gong*