[Verse 1]
Oh, Barry the elf was a bludger
And a very fine bludger was he
He'd sleep all day and rest all night
Do nothing but watch TV
He wouldn't help Santa make presents
He had the wrong attitude
He didn't wash, he never said thanks
He was rude and lewd and crude

[Verse 2]
All of his friends were deadbeats
Like the reindeer, they called "Jeff"
They were into igloo graffiti
And suspected of pretty theft
They were serious all-round shongsters
They had no manners at all
Hanging 'round harassing locals
At the Arctic shopping mall
They were s'posed to be toy technicians
In Santa's factory
They were never in before half-past nine
They were gone by morning tea!
(Here we go!)

[Instrumental]
[Verse 3]
Now listen up all you reindeer
Tune in all you elves
You'll be copping the toe of Santa's boot
If you don't smarten up yourselves

[Insturmental]

[Verse 4]
Yes, Barry the elf was a bludger
And a mighty fine bludger was he
He was worth his weight in cockie chaff
That waste of space; Barry!