[Chorus: Colin and Greg]
Here comes Christmas Bob
Selling cheap prezzies in the pub
If you've got the cash then you're in luck
Get a VCR off the back of a truck

[Verse 1: Colin and Greg]
Bought my Gran a new TV
Christmas Bob sold it to me
A top-notch widescreen new Samsung
But the cops came 'round and Gran got sprung

[Verse 2: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
Christmas Bob goes far and wide
That is when he's not inside
North and south and east and west
Trying to avoid arrest (Greggy) (Yup)

[Verse 3: Greg, Colin]
Christmas Bob is a PHD
Got a DipEd and a BSc
He did all his work by mail
Doing time in Long Bay gaol (Tut-tut) (Take one Bucko) (Okay, I'll do the next one)

[Verse 4: Colin, Greg]
When Bob was a lad, a car he stole
Went to court and jumped parole
From that momеnt it was clear
Bob had found his true career (Yah)
[Verse 5: Greg, Colin]
Down the wharvеs is where he lurks
Never done a day of work
You might think that Bob's a crim
But I would not say that to him (Heh, absolutely!)

[Verse 6: Colin, Greg]
He spreads good cheer across the land
Buying and selling contraband
Bargain Bob's a Christmas pearl
A colourful figure in the underworld (Aw, nearly home) (All together)

[Chorus: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
Here comes Christmas Bob
Selling cheap prezzies in the pub (Look out)
If you've got the cash then you're in luck
Get a VCR of the back of a truck

(Magic.)