Well I've never scored a proper goal
But I'm really good at Pro Evo
I can't Ollie up a curb
Unless I'm playing Tony Hawk
Hell, I can't even drive a car
But I'll kick your arse at Mario Kart

Well my girlfriend's naked next to me
And i'm tapping on my Blackberry
The tomtom on the windscreen knows
Exactly where I'm s'posed to go
A broadband wireless in the net
Means I can look at porn in bed

Well the future's in Nintendo nunchuckers
Or staring at an X-Box screen
Well the future's sounding like a science fiction film
And it scares, the shit out of me

Well I've never wrote a proper song
But i've played more gigs than Elton John
Smoked more fags than Tom Waits
And shagged more birds than Bill Gates
I can't even play guitar
I never found the time, to learn