Einstürzende Neubauten
The Willy-Nicky Telegrams
[The Kaiser and the Tsar are writing telegrams which are overlapping each other]
[1 Voice Tsar] & [Second Voice Kaiser]
[ticking sound like from a second hand of a watch]

[Telegram 1]
[Tsar to Kaiser]------------------------[Kaiser to Tsar]
I appeal to you to help me
An ignoble war has been declared
Very soon I shall be overwhelmed
Forced to take extreme measures ----------------------------------------The spirit still dominates ----------------------------------------the country
Such a calamity----------------------That led them to murder ----------------------------------------their own king
European war ------------------------Dastardly murder
I beg you to do what you can-------Deserved punishment

Stop your allies-----------------------In this case - politics
From going too far------------------- plays no part at all

Nicky----------------------------------Your very sincere and ----------------------------------------devoted friend and cousin ----------------------------------------Willy

[Telegram 2]
[Kaiser to Tsar]------------------------[Tsar to Kaiser]
I cannot consider Austria’s action
An »ignoble« war
It would be quite possible-----------Thanks for your telegram
For Russia to remain------------------ conciliatory and friendly
A spectator of the conflict-----------The official message by Without involving Europe-----------your ambassador
In the most horrible war--------------Is in a very different tone
Military measures would
Jeopardize my position as ------------Beg you to explain this mediator-------------------------------divergency!
Which I readily accepted--------------It would be right to give ------------------------------------------the problem
On your appeal
To my friendship and my help---------to the Hague-conference
`
Willy-------------------------------------Trust in your wisdom -------------------------------------------and friendship
-------------------------------------------Your loving Nicky

[Sound like shots]

[Telegram 3]
[Tsar to Kaiser]--------------------------[Kaiser to Tsar]
Military measures
For reasons of defense
I hope that they won’t interfere-------If Russia mobilises
With your part as mediator------------my role as mediator Is ruined
-----------------------------------------The weight of the decision ------------------------------------------lies
------------------------------------------on your Shoulders now
We need your pressure on Austria----Who have to bear the responsibility
To come to an understanding---------for Peace or War
Nicky-----------------------------------Willy

[Sound like the sending of a playful morse code]

[Telegram 4]
[Kaiser to Tsar]-------------------------[Tsar to Kaiser]
In my endeavors to maintain
The peace
I have gone to the utmost limit
Responsibility for the disaster
Will not be Laid at my door
-----------------------------------------To stop our military -----------------------------------------preparations
-----------------------------------------is technically impossible
The peace of Europe
May be maintained
-----------------------------------------No provocative actions
If Russia stops the military------------Negotiations take place
Measures
----------------------------------------I give you my solemn
My friendship for you and your-----word for this. We are
Empire has always been-------------Far from wishing war
Sacred to me-------------------------Your affectionate
Willy----------------------------------Nicky

[Sound like bombs detonating]

[Telegram 5]
[Tsar to Kaiser]------------------------[Kaiser to Tsar]
I wish to have the guarantee
From you that these measures
Do not mean war
----------------------------------------I pointed out to you
----------------------------------------the way by which
----------------------------------------War may be avoided
We shall continue negotiating
For the benefit of our countries
---------------------------------------I requested an answer for noon ---------------------------------------today
---------------------------------------No telegram has reached me ---------------------------------------yet
Universal peace
Dear to our hearts
Our long proved friendship-------I therefore have to mobilize
Must succeed----------------------my army
In avoiding bloodshed
-------------------------------------Willy
Nicky
-------------------------------------Willy
Nicky
-------------------------------------Willy
Nicky
-------------------------------------Willy
Nicky
-------------------------------------Willy
Nicky-------------------------------Willy
Nicky-------------------------------Willy
Nicky-------------------------------Willy
Nicky-------------------------------Willy
Nicky-------------------------------Willy Willy
[the signatures keep coming faster till a sound like]
[from electrical wire in the open]