[Part I: Dundaxian Overture]

[Chorus]
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
Great sacrifice

[Part II: The Battle of Cowdenbeath]

[Verse 1: Angus McFife XIII]
Magnificent vessel appears in the sky
The Hootsforce arrives into Cowdenbeath
Prepare for the warfare of ultimate destiny
Into the battle, the heroes make fight
Fast as Dundonian lightning they strike
The armies of evil will die on the field
They'll die by our steel

[Spoken Interlude: Zargothrax]
And the battlefield of Cowdenbeath fell silent
As the black gates of the fortress of Crail opened wide
Atop a horde of undead eagles
The grim armies of the Deathknights of Crail rode out to meet the forces of justice
And at the vanguard of this terrible host stood the Grandmaster himself
Dreadlord Proletius
[Verse 2: Angus McFife XIII]
From the black gate evil deathknights attack
Proletius is leading the chaos charge
Slaughtering peasants with deadly impunity
Ralathor fires his final defence
Missiles of nuclear justice
The deathknights are suddenly vaporized
Proletius dies

[Chorus: Hootsforce]
For the King of Space
We will fight to end disgrace
In our once proud land
We will make our stand
When the dark lord comes
We will shoot our laser guns
For the glory of mighty Dundee

[Spoken Interlude: Zargothrax]
Mwah-hahaha
Such a pathetic display of valor
You are naught but insignificant worms before the infinite power of Zargothrax
Now, the solar conjunction is at hand
My ascension to godhood is inevitable
And there is nothing you can do to stop me
Worship my omnipotence
[Part III: Return of the Astral Demigod of Unst]

[Refrain]
From the Heavens
Comes a hero
Mighty Hootsman
Vanitati
Latinae
Canentis
Hootus Dei

[Bridge: Thomas Winkler]
With a flash of thunder
A god falls from the sky
With holy armor made from wolf
The Hootsman has arrived
Side by side with Angus
The warriors make fight
Hootsman fires a laser blast
Shoots goblins out of sight

[Refrain]
From the Heavens
Comes a hero
Mighty Hootsman
Vanitati
Latinae
Canentis
Hootus Dei
[Chorus]
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Hootsman has arrived

[Spoken Interlude: Hootsman]
Alright Zargothrax
Your evil reign of terror ends today
My name is the Hootsman
And I am the one and only true god of this universe
It is time for you to taste the power of Hoots

[Verse 3: Thomas Winkler]
With the force of the Hammer
And the power of Hoots
The forces of justice attack
Bringing destruction to Zargothrax
The wizard defeated
Dissolves into dust
The Kingdom of Fife has been saved
The legendary Angus McFife has triumphed this day

[Part IV: The Knife of Evil]

[Spoken Interlude: Christopher Bowes]
And lo, Zargothrax was finally defeated
But in the epic final struggle with the dark sorcerer
The valiant hero Angus McFife realised he had been impaled by the Knife of Evil
As he watched the lifeless corpse of Zargothrax dissolve into liquid dust
Angus knew that soon he himself would be corrupted by the dark power of that cursed blade
And so he resolved that he must make the final sacrifice for the glory of Dundee
He would end his own life by descending into the raging volcanic fires of Schiehallion

[Verse 4: Angus McFife XIII]
Goodbye
My time has come to die
This is the end
I must say farewell
Descend into hell

[Chorus]
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Prince of Fife must die
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Prince of Fife must die
To save the galaxy
It is your mighty destiny
Brave Angus McFife

[Part V: Transmission]

[Outro: Interdimensional Subspace Relay]
Initiating interdimensional subspace relay
Target year 1022
Begin transmission
.- -.-. - .. ...- .- - . / --.. .- .-. --. --- - .... .-. .- -..- / -.-. .-.. --- -. . / .- .-.. .--. .... .- / .----
Transmission complete