Well, I fed your dog while you were on vacation
Covered all your shifts for your operation
But when you got back
You still wouldn't show me your brand new silicone boobs

So I took a walk around my neighborhood
To get you off of my mind like I knew that I ought to
But when I saw a big black van
Run down a bird I had to think about you

But no I'm not a quarterback
I'm not a fireman
Still I can have any girl in Japan
Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...
Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and
You tell a story like a broken record and
I tell a story like a broken record but
Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway

So you took another guy on that Caribbean cruise
While I stayed home and cried into my bottle of pills but
When you got back
You didn't even have yourself a tan cause you stayed in your room

So I fed your dog while you were out of town and
I mowed your lawn when he wasn't around but
When you got back
You had the nerve to ask me if I had gone through some your clothes
(Yeah right)

No I'm not a quarterback
I'm not a fireman
Still I can have any girl in Japan
Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...
Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and
You tell a story like a broken record and
I tell a story like a broken record but
Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway

No I'm not a quarterback
I'm not a fireman
Still I can have any girl in Japan
Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...
Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and
I tell a story like a broken record and
We tell a story like a broken record but
Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you like

You tell a story like a broken record and
I tell a story like a broken record and
I like stories like a broken record but
Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway