[Verse 1]
Who's gonna hold your hand when you leave town?
Who's gonna read your Bibles for you now?
Who's gonna stand up and fight the good fight?
Who's gonna commence with this speech tonight?

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Tell your minister
That he looks real cute in that Lutheran suit
Tell your minister
He'll be seeking shelter with his church in ruins
Tell your minister

[Chorus]
That I hear his train
I hear the train [x3]
Fuck the train

[Verse 2]
Here comes the color guard in full regalia
Who's gonna leave this town, and who's gonna stay here?
There goes pomp and there goes circumstance
Splattered in the ditch in the nails of the southbound tracks

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Tell your minister
That holy men shouldn't be fat fucks
Tell your minister
That I've seen his sinners livin' just like monks
Tell your minister
[Chorus]

[Pre-Chorus 3]
Tell your minister
That I bet he thought his speech would trick me
Tell your minister
That I might be stoned but I'm not shifty
Tell your minister
That I heard his speech and It was long but sickening
Tell your minister

[Chorus]