[Verse 1]
I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something, something I can use
People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry
Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry

[Chorus]
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around

[Verse 2]
We got the bubble-headed bleach-blonde who comes on at five
She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
You don't really need to find out what's goin' on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry
[Chorus]
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around)

[Verse 4]
Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
Love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry
We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry

[Guitar Solo]

[Outro]
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up)