Those of good nature with light in their hearts
Find goodness in each of life's various parts
They see each blessing as a bountiful bowl
A half glass of water they see as half-full

But I say these folks need a stick in the eye
Beat them in the head till they break down and cry
Tell me not to be cheery. To you I say this:
Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss

Chorus:
Tulloo, tullary, tuh-tibby, tarye
I shan't feel better till the barrel is dry
So fill up me tankard with a good foamy bliss
Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss

Me wife, she died of a fever one spring
Now I'm alone, 'tis a terrible thing
Theres no one to cook or to drain out me cyst
Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss

Me wife, she lives, this fact I despise
Each night I pray for her deserved demise
She's a shrew and a magpie that I shall not miss
Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss
Chorus

Me wife insisted I give up strong drink
There is no worse fate for a Boggard, I think
I shall long for my dear ale's soft foamy kiss
Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss

My best friend, the brewer, died in his home
He was brewing a hogshead when he fell in the foam
We tried to drink it, but he'd fouled up the grist
Me life is a glass that is half-full of piss

Chorus

Now, some of you may say my outlook is bleak
But I tell you pity is just for the weak
I screwed up me courage and I strengthened me fist
By gripping quite tight to my half glass of piss

Tulloo, tullary, tuh-tibby, tarye
I shan't feel better till the barrel is dry
So fill up me tankard with a good foamy bliss
Me life is a glass that is half-full -
Tulloo, tullary, tuh-tibby, tarye
I shan't feel better till the barrel is dry
So fill up me tankard with a good foamy bliss
Me life is a glass that is half-full -
Of piss