Verse 1:
I was waiting in a whorehouse
For the man in front of me
They said it was his birthday he was turning eighty-three
And I knew it’d be a long night, when I heard behind the door
Do you really think we’ll finish this
Before you’re eighty-four?

Chorus:
Get it up grandpa
You’re taking way too long
Get it up Grandpa
Get some blood flowing to that schlong

Verse 2:
The old man took a long time
Just to get down on one knee
Her patience was not lasting
As an hour stretched to three
And she said “we’re getting nowherе
And my mouth is getting numb
Please notify thе papers
If either of us cum”

Chorus:
Get it up grandpa
You’re taking way too long
Get it up Grandpa
Get some blood flowing to that schlong
Verse 3:
I could hear his palpitations
And his wheezing was a fright
He said “I love you Mary
And I’ll try with all me might”
But I knew it’d be along night
When I heard behind the door
That ancient fornicator
Collapse upon the floor

Chorus:
Get it up grandpa
You’re taking way too long
Get it up Grandpa
Get some blood flowing to that schlong
Can you get your junk to function
Before your confidence is scarred?
Get it up grandpa
Only your arteries are hard

Verse 4:
It was an open casket
I thought I should attend
Then I saw the lady
Who was with him in the end
As she gazed upon the body
She shouted with a grin
“Now that it’s all over that’s the stiffest he has been
Chorus:
Get it up grandpa
(Get it up Grandpa)

You’re taking way too long
(You’re taking way too long)
Get it up Grandpa
(Get it up Grandpa)
Get some blood flowing to that schlong
(Get some blood flowing to that schlong)
Can you get your junk to function
Before your confidence is scarred?
Get it up grandpa
(Oh Grandpa)
Only your arteries are hard
Get it up Grandpa
(Get it up get it up get it up)