I took a smart drug today
Just to help me learn to read
'Cause there's a magazine
And it tells me 'bout the things that I need
Yeah, the pictures make me feel good
I don't do those things, but I could
'Cause I'm a modern man
And I'm trying everything that I can

I had an accident this morning
Now I'm stuck in bed
You know I put that television set upon my head
Yeah, the actor made me feel cool
He was handsome, he was no fool
The kinda man I feel like being on a Saturday

And I've seen you
And you've seen me
As we wait for collection
So we smile, to make the connection
But it won't last
Oh because it goes too fast
Because we all
Have our own recollection

You know I drive all day
Just to prove I own a car
And when I drive all day
I never really drive that far
Yeah I like my feet on the ground
I said I like drivin' round and around
'Cause I'm a modern man
And oh yeah I've got a lot on my mind

And you don't need me
Just like I don't need you
We're gonna make it alone
'Cause this is real
If you're not ready, tell me why
You gotta look outta place
You've got the wrong kinda face
But you should learn
To love your reflection
This is natural selection
Yeah, I hope you pass inspection