Hung pictures of patron saints up on my wall
To remind me that I am a fool
Tell me where I came from
What I will always be
Just a spoiled little kid
Who went to Catholic school

When I am dead I won't join their ranks
Because they are both holy and free
And I'm in Ohio
Satanic and chained up
And until the end
That's how it'll be

I said "Make me love myself
So that I might love you
Don't make me a liar
'Cause I swear to God
When I said it, I thought it was true"

Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you
But he's got his own things to deal with
There's really just one thing that we have in common

Neither of us will be missed

A saint Bernard sits at the top of the driveway
You always said how you love dogs
I don't know if I count, but I'm trying my best
When I'm howling and barking these songs