[Verse 1]
On a day hot enough to make the Devil cuss
I walked into a bar so thirsty I was spittin' dust
Barkeep asked me, "What'll it be?"
I said, "Whatcha got?" He said, "Well, let's see, we got

[Pre-Chorus]
Lone Star, PBR, Rolling Rock, Shiner Bock
Moose Drool, O'Doul's, Hefeweizen, Ziegenbock
Keystone, Coors Light, 'course we got Red Stripe
Amstel, Amsterdam in the tall can
Michelob, Miller Light, Guinness by the pint glass
Doppelbock Lager, take a swaller 'cause it's goin' fast
Oatmeal Stout and a lot of Leinenkugel's
Open up your wallet, no time to be frugal there's

[Chorus]
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall
Ninety-nine bottles of beer
Take one down, pass it around
Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall"

[Verse 2]
Well, needless to say I was pretty impressed
As he handed me an ice cold beer from a chest
I said, "Not bad for a hole in the wall"
Barkeep grinned, said, "That ain't all, we got
[Pre-Chorus]
Rio Grande, River Rock, Tecate with a twist top
Dos Perros, Dos Equis, Foster if yer Aussie
Bud Light in the new Zane Williams coozie
A dozen wheat beers on tap if you're choosy, got
Heineken, Killian's, Labatt's and Beck's
Ice cold Coronas with the limes in the necks
Yuengling chilling with the Old Milwaukee's best
Sam Adams and that ain't even half of the rest of them

[Chorus]
Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall
Ninety-eight bottles of beer
Take one down, pass it around
Ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall"

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
Well, I settled down with my favorite brew
I ordered me another and before I knew
It was 2 a.m. and I was under a table
Bein' choked by a dude that smelled like a stable
And finally I was able to throw him through the screen door
Pick up my hat off the hardwood floor
Get on back to the barkeep's daughter who was
Puttin' "Pop a Top" on the jukebox, dancin' non-stop
And sippin' on a beer that I bought her
We were drinkin' it like it was water
There were cowgirls everywhere wearin' their
Pretty hair down to their derriere and there were
[Chorus]
Two more bottles of beer on the wall
Two more bottles of beer
Took one down and passed it around
One more bottle of beer on the wall
One more bottle of beer on the wall
One more bottle of beer
We raised it up high and drained it dry and there were
No more bottles of beer on the wall

[Pre-Chorus]
So we started on the
Cuervo, Bacardi Gold, margaritas, straight tequila
Jim Beam, George Dickel, then we wet our whistle with a
Single malt scotch, peach Schnapps in a jello shot
Captain Morgan, pour some more of them
Cider Sliders, Flyin' Tigers
Dr Pepper for the designated drivers
Everclear, Absolut, and Amaretto
I don't remember much but I never will forget those

[Outro]
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall
Ninety-nine bottles of beer
There ain't nothin' finer than an ice-cold Shiner and
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall