William Finn
I Swear I Won’t Ever Again (Part 1)
[LADIES]
Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax

[SWEETHEART, spoken]
Relax, Marvin

[MARVIN]
My wife, my wife
It's all so clear:
She's sweet
And dearly needs me
She needs my life
(My wife)
And I'd give it if I could;
That's so frequently the most misunderstood
Lazily I love her
Crazily I hate her
Often I debate her
Every other night

I'm in the right
She's in the right
I'm in the wrong
She's in the right, dammit
We get along
But always fight, dammit
She always wins, but always cries;
And it's me and them
(Me and men)
Me and whomever
I swear I won't ever again