Something Bad Is Happening / More Raquetball (Falsettoland)
[CHARLOTTE]
People might think I'm very dyke-ish
I make a big stink when I must, but goddamn!
I'm just professional, never too nonchalant
If I'm a bitch, well, I am what I am!
Just call me 'Doc', don't call me 'lady'!
I don't like to talk when I'm losing the game
Bachelors arrive sick and frightened
They leave weeks later unenlightened
We see a trend, but the trend has no name
Something bad is happening
Something very bad is happening
Something stinks, something immoral!
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning!
Rumors fly and tales abound
Stories echo underground!
Something bad
Is spreading, spreading, spreading round!
[CORDELIA]
Tell me how it tastes
Tell me if it's good
Tell me, dear, if you'd like seconds--
[CHARLOTTE]
Stop!
[CORDELIA]
Go ahead and wound my pride--
[CHARLOTTE]
Just stop!
[CORDELIA]
You're feeling very sick inside, I can tell
And it's something I cooked
I just knew how you looked!
Look what I've done to my doctor
She's my doctor
And I love her
She's got passion
She's intelligent and Jesus Christ
A doctor!
Very wealthy... and I love her!
Doctor of internal medicine!
I'm sorry that you're queasy
[CHARLOTTE]
I'm uneasy
[CORDELIA]
She's got something on her mind that makes her nervous
[CHARLOTTE]
This is fucking ridiculous!
[CORDELIA]
She’s my doctor and I love her,
She’s got heart!
[CHARLOTTE]
I scanned a mag, very chic tabloid
Men dressed in drag next to their moms
Fashion and passion and filler
But not a word about the killer!
I like the ballgowns but Jesus Christ!
Something bad is happening
Look, I made her sick!
She ate the food and she got sick!
Oh woe is me, oh woe is me!
Something bad is happening
Something very bad is happening
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning!
Rumors fly and tales abound
Stories echo underground!
Something bad is--
[CORDELIA]
Spreading, spreading, spreading
Round!
Is spreading, spreading, spreading
Round...
[CHARLOTTE]
Spreading, spreading, spreading
Round!
Look! A virus has been found
Stories echo underground!
Something bad
Is spreading, spreading, spreading
Round...
[WHIZZER]
It bounced in!
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Hit the line, you know it did!
[MARVIN]
Just begin
[WHIZZER]
Are you kidding?
Who's telling who how to play?
[MARVIN]
Let me live, please forgive me
For winning one game
[WHIZZER]
Serve it up
[MARVIN]
I attack!
[WHIZZER]
Hold it down, keep him back--
Something's gone out of whack!
[MARVIN]
I hit!
[WHIZZER]
Ah shit!
[MARVIN]
My game!
1, 2, 3, 4!
[WHIZZER]
1, 2, 3--damn it!
Good serve, Marvin...
[MARVIN]
1, 2, 3, 4!
[WHIZZER]
1, 2...
Hit my heel
[MARVIN]
Don't be bitter
[WHIZZER]
No big deal, the game is yours
[MARVIN]
It's unreal, you're a quitter!
[WHIZZER]
I can't go on anymore!
[MARVIN]
Be a jerk, my sweet bruiser
Try to be a decent loser!
At least you could give me that!
[WHIZZER]
Excuse me!
I'm ready to go!
I'm ready...
[MARVIN]
Do you know all I want is you?
Anything you do is alright
Yes, it's alright...
People might think I'm very dyke-ish
I make a big stink when I must, but goddamn!
I'm just professional, never too nonchalant
If I'm a bitch, well, I am what I am!
Just call me 'Doc', don't call me 'lady'!
I don't like to talk when I'm losing the game
Bachelors arrive sick and frightened
They leave weeks later unenlightened
We see a trend, but the trend has no name
Something bad is happening
Something very bad is happening
Something stinks, something immoral!
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning!
Rumors fly and tales abound
Stories echo underground!
Something bad
Is spreading, spreading, spreading round!
[CORDELIA]
Tell me how it tastes
Tell me if it's good
Tell me, dear, if you'd like seconds--
[CHARLOTTE]
Stop!
[CORDELIA]
Go ahead and wound my pride--
[CHARLOTTE]
Just stop!
[CORDELIA]
You're feeling very sick inside, I can tell
And it's something I cooked
I just knew how you looked!
Look what I've done to my doctor
She's my doctor
And I love her
She's got passion
She's intelligent and Jesus Christ
A doctor!
Very wealthy... and I love her!
Doctor of internal medicine!
I'm sorry that you're queasy
[CHARLOTTE]
I'm uneasy
[CORDELIA]
She's got something on her mind that makes her nervous
[CHARLOTTE]
This is fucking ridiculous!
[CORDELIA]
She’s my doctor and I love her,
She’s got heart!
[CHARLOTTE]
I scanned a mag, very chic tabloid
Men dressed in drag next to their moms
Fashion and passion and filler
But not a word about the killer!
I like the ballgowns but Jesus Christ!
Something bad is happening
Look, I made her sick!
She ate the food and she got sick!
Oh woe is me, oh woe is me!
Something bad is happening
Something very bad is happening
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning!
Rumors fly and tales abound
Stories echo underground!
Something bad is--
[CORDELIA]
Spreading, spreading, spreading
Round!
Is spreading, spreading, spreading
Round...
[CHARLOTTE]
Spreading, spreading, spreading
Round!
Look! A virus has been found
Stories echo underground!
Something bad
Is spreading, spreading, spreading
Round...
[WHIZZER]
It bounced in!
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Hit the line, you know it did!
[MARVIN]
Just begin
[WHIZZER]
Are you kidding?
Who's telling who how to play?
[MARVIN]
Let me live, please forgive me
For winning one game
[WHIZZER]
Serve it up
[MARVIN]
I attack!
[WHIZZER]
Hold it down, keep him back--
Something's gone out of whack!
[MARVIN]
I hit!
[WHIZZER]
Ah shit!
[MARVIN]
My game!
1, 2, 3, 4!
[WHIZZER]
1, 2, 3--damn it!
Good serve, Marvin...
[MARVIN]
1, 2, 3, 4!
[WHIZZER]
1, 2...
Hit my heel
[MARVIN]
Don't be bitter
[WHIZZER]
No big deal, the game is yours
[MARVIN]
It's unreal, you're a quitter!
[WHIZZER]
I can't go on anymore!
[MARVIN]
Be a jerk, my sweet bruiser
Try to be a decent loser!
At least you could give me that!
[WHIZZER]
Excuse me!
I'm ready to go!
I'm ready...
[MARVIN]
Do you know all I want is you?
Anything you do is alright
Yes, it's alright...