Stephen Flaherty
A Message From The Front
[CADET] (spoken)
A message from the front!
[CADETS] (singing)
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ
[GENERAL GENGHIS KHAN SCHMITZ] (spoken)
In the Battle of Butter,
Your son has been lost.
[MAYOR, & MRS. MAYOR]
Lost?
[SCHMITZ]
When the battle began
The young man paid the cost.
[MAYOR, & MRS. MAYOR]
(A gasp)
Oh, no...
[SCHMITZ]
He did not want to fight.
And he may have been right.
Here's his sword. And his hat.
Regrets. And goodnight.
(SCHMITZ gently hands the Parents JOJO's possessions and marches out with the CADETS.)
[CADETS] (singing)
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ
[MAYOR, & MRS. MAYOR]
OUR PERFECT LITTLE BOY...
[MAYOR]
SOLLA SOLLEW
[MAYOR, & MRS. MAYOR]
SOLLA SOLLEW
(The CAT appears sobbing copious wet tears which sprinkle on the audience.)
(NOTE: Free area for CAT to improv with audience members before the following verse.)
[CAT IN THE HAT] (spoken)
How sad. Oh, how sad.
How unspeakably dreary.
The parents despairing
And terrible teary.
Their poor little JoJo no longer alive.
But wait! Could it be?
That the kid did survive?
A re-enactment!
(The CAT uses dolls to re-enact JOJO getting blown up, doing the voices of JOJO and GENERAL SCHMITZ.)
[CAT (as SCHMITZ)]
It's a minefield out there!
This is no time for play!
[CAT (as JOJO)]
Sir, I think what I think.
Now get out of my way!
[CAT (as SCHMITZ)]
Soldier, you will obey!
You will halt!
JoJo, come back!
Son, wait!
(The CAT makes the sound of an explosion and tosses the JOJO DOLL into the wings, just as the real JOJO tumbles onto the stage. He slowly gets to his feet, frightened and alone.)