Stephen Flaherty
Havin’ A Hunch

[SCARY VOICES] (singing)
(Offstage)
OOH! WAH-OOH-WAH!
OOH! WAH-OOH-WAH!

[CAT IN THE HAT]
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A HUNCH
YOU SHOULD FOLLOW YOUR NOSE?
THEN YOU HAVE A SUDDEN HUNCH
YOU SHOULD FOLLOW YOUR TOES?
SOON A SNEAKY HUNCH IS WHISPERING
"BETTER GO STRAIGHT!"
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT
OH, IT'S SO LATE LATE LATE LATE!

[SCARY VOICES]
(echoing)
LATE LATE LATE LATE!

[CAT]
NOW A NERVOUS HUNCH IS TELLING YOU
"YOU COULD BE LOST!"

[SCARY VOICES]
(echoing)
LOST LOST LOST LOST...
[CAT]
AS IT LEADS YOU DOWN A PATH
YOU HAVE ALREADY CROSSED.

[SCARY VOICES]
(echoing)
CROSSED, CROSSED, CROSSED, CROSSED!

[CAT]
SOON YOU'RE OVERWHELMED BY HUNCHES
THAT PESTER AND PINCH AND PUNCH!
AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE HAVIN' A HUNCH!

(The mysterious HUNCHES enter.)

[HUNCHES]
YOU'RE HAVIN', YOU'RE HAVIN' A HUNCH!

[CAT] (spoken)
A hunch!

[HUNCHES] (singing)
YOU'RE HAVIN' A HUNCH!
YOU'RE HAVIN', YOU'RE HAVIN' A HUNCH!
YOU'RE HAVIN' A HUNCH!
(A DREAM nightmare ensues, in which all kinds of strange Seussian creatures and events challenge and scare JOJO.)

[HUNCHES]
OOH! AH!

[HUNCHES, & CAT] (spoken)
Hunch!

[HUNCHES] (singing)
OOH! AH!

[HUNCHES, & CAT] (spoken)
Hunch!

[HUNCHES] (singing)
OOH! AH!
HUNCH!
OOH! AH!
HUNCH!

(At the height of his fright and confusion, JOJO confronts the CAT.)

[JOJO] (spoken)
You're nothing but trouble! Just trouble galore!
You flooded my house, sent me marching to war.
Filled my head full of Thinks!
And you won't go away!
[CAT]
All right. I'll be going.
But first, let me say...

[JOJO]
No!

[CAT] (singing)
THINK OF NOBODY HERE
AND THE FEELING OF FEAR
AND THE DARKNESS OF NIGHT

[HUNCHES]
OOH OOH...

[ALL, & CAT]
ALL ALONE IN THE GLOOM
AS YOU'RE FACING YOUR DOOM

[CAT]
THINK A GLIMMER OF LIGHT!

(The CAT turns on a light, and the HUNCHES are revealed as just a bunch of actors in costumes. They're a little sheepish to be caught in the act. JOJO is amazed and relieved.)

[JOJO] (spoken)
You mean, that's it?

[CAT]
That's it. It's all in your mind.

You're a Thinker, JoJo,
Tried and true.
I don't often meet real Thinkers like you.

[JOJO]
I want to go home.

[CAT]
Why, that's easy to do!
Just follow your Hunches.
They'll lead you home to Who.

[CAT] (singing)
THINK A BRIDGE TO THE SHORE
AND A ROAD TO YOUR DOOR.

[CAT] (spoken)
You'll be home before lunch!

[JOJO] (singing)
OH, THE PLACES I'LL GO
IF I FOLLOW MY...

[JOJO, & HUNCHES] (spoken)
Hunch!

[HUNCHES, & CAT]
Follow your Hunch!

(The HUNCHES and CAT now help JOJO to find his way home.)

[HUNCHES] (singing)
OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

[JOJO]
I'VE GOT BRAINS IN MY HEAD
AND FEET IN MY SHOES

[ALL (except JOJO)]
SO STEER YOURSELF ANY DIRECTION YOU CHOOSE!

AND OH...
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO...
SET YOUR HUNCHES FREE TO WANDER
AND FOLLOW THEM WHERE THEY ROAM

[HUNCHES, & CAT]
AND FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH!
FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH!
FOLLOW IT!

FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH
FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH
FOLLOW IT!

FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH!
FOLLOW YOUR HUNCH!
FOLLOW IT...

(The CAT and JOJO's HUNCHES magically deliver JOJO home to his PARENTS.)

[HUNCHES, & OFFSTAGE VOICES]
HOME. . .

(PARENTS and SON embrace joyfully.)

[ALL]
ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!

(In the darkness, we see a figure carrying a flashlight. Its light reveals GERTRUDE McFUZZ.)

[GERTRUDE McFUZZ] (spoken)
I'll bet you forgot about Gertrude McFuzz.
Well, that's nothing new. I mean, everyone does.
But Gertrude did something that few birds could do.
So this is the Tale of Miss Gertrude. Part Two.

(GERTRUDE's flashlight picks out the poster for the Circus McGurkus. We hear the sounds of snoring.)

[GERTRUDE]
Psst! Horton! Horton, are you there?

(Her light illuminates the snoring HORTON, waking him up.)

[HORTON THE ELEPHANT]
What? Who is it?

[GERTRUDE]
It's me, Gertrude! Horton! Oh, Horton! I was so worried! Are you all right?

[HORTON]
Gertrude! How did you find us?

[GERTRUDE]
Well, it's a long story.