[ALFIE, spoken]
Lil, remember this morning I said I had uh -- I had a feeling? Well, I was right. Someone I was waiting for, well praying for even, got onto me bus out of the blue. A girl.

[LILY, spoken]
A girl! Oh Alfie! Well, that is the power of the nine weeks of St. Jude for you!

[LILY]
How long has it been
I've been down on my knees
Saying rosaries into my sleep?

[ALFIE, spoken]
Lil!

[LILY]
The candles I've lit!
The novenas I've said
In the hope St. Lauretta would weep!

[ALFIE, spoken]
Lil!

[LILY]
The girls at Sodality
Call me a martyr
But that'll be all in the past
Now Heaven has lifted
The burden of life
And has brought you a sweetie at last!
Oh...
You had better propose to her fast!
[ALFIE, spoken]
She's not for me. She's for me play.

[LILY, spoken]
Oh God, you're not starting that up again, are you? Who puts these notions into your head? You're an unmarried bus conductor, Alfie, in case you haven't noticed.

[LILY]
I think of the times
We was both of us kids,
It was me who would stand up for you.
I'd beat anybody who'd
Pick on my brother;
I'd pummel 'em purple and blue!
But, here I am now, looking after you still!
The girls say I'm out of my head,
And a pity a woman
The burden of life
With a brother who's never been wed.
Oh, it's a blessing our parents are dead!

[ALFIE, spoken]
Lil!

[LILY]
St. Lauretta
I don't even mind if the girl isn't virginal.
Fat chance these days.
There's probably three of us left in all Ireland!
St. Lauretta
With all of the scandal
You hear and you read of today,
Oh, What's the whole world coming to anyway?

And now and again, Mr. Carney proposes
And all I can say is -- not yet.
My brother, he needs me.
Who else has he got
But some girl who he still hasn't met!
And now and again I see gray in your hair
And I noticed the gray in mine, too.
Oh, pity a woman the burden of life --
How much more do I have to go through?

God sent you this girl.
Alfie, give it a whirl
Or I'll bash in your brains with my shoe!
St. Lauretta is countin' on you!