[VLAD, spoken]
Ever since that first day I saw you at court
I knew I was beneath you

[LILY, spoken]
You were right, darling. You were

[VLAD]
I noticed you across a room
The most exquisite rose
The tiniest tiara and
That haughty little nose
I flirted with you shamelessly

[LILY]
Or so the scandal goes...
The Countess

[VLAD]
And the common man
We tiptoed off to Peterhof
To have a royal fling

[LILY]
My husband was oblivious
Counts never know a thing!
[VLAD]
And all of it was perfect!

[LILY]
'Til you stole my diamond ring!

[VLAD & LILY]
The Countess and the common man

[VLAD]
Cologne in the bedclothes
The pastry and wine

[LILY]
And under the table
Your foot touching mine

[VLAD & LILY]
And how my heart beat
When you sent me our sign

[LILY]
I loved you...

[VLAD]
You loved me
And oh, it was simply
[VLAD & LILY]
Divine...

[VLAD, spoken]
Haha!
Ha, ooh
Who would have known
My little rose
We're back where we began?

[LILY]
And I suppose
That you'll propose
Another sneaky plan!
Which I'll resist...

[VLAD]
Until you're kissed

[VLAD & LILY]
For nothing's better than...

[LILY]
The Countess

[VLAD]
And the common man...
[VLAD & LILY]
The Countess and the common man