Boxes full of baby clothes
Stacked up near the roof
Boxes full of little baby shoes
Envelopes of baby hair
A homeless baby tooth
And every single shade of baby blue

He's through with pulling wagons now
Through with riding trikes
That first day without training wheels was hard
All that is ancient history
Let me tell ya what he likes, uh-huh
Racing up and down the driveway in my car, oh, no!

This is what can happen
When your girl becomes your spouse
The stork begins delivery at your door
Oh, one day, home sweet home
Will be quiet as a mouse
This is why we pray a whole lot more
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
(Oh, my head!)
Oh, teenager in the house

Well, recently a revelation started coming clear
That's right, son, you call those "girls"
Hey, can the phone be surgically implanted in the ear
He's reaching out and touching half the world

This is what can happen
When your girl becomes your spouse
The stork begins delivery at your door
(I've heard of that before)
Oh, one day, home sweet home
Will be quiet as a mouse
This is why we pray a whole lot more
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house

Philosophy and wisdom
From the experts all agree
Parenthood can be a little rough
Oh, I can't speak for you
But listen I can speak for me
This pill will go down easier if ya just
Lighten up!

This is what can happen
When your girl becomes your spouse
The stork begins delivery at your door
(I've heard of that before)
Tell me, one day, home sweet home
Will be quiet as a mouse
This is why we pray a whole lot more
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
Hey!
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
One day, I'm gonna have a little talk
With that boy!
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house
Teenager in the house