Peter upped the stakes, a tongue for battle
Cisae came to play, then ran for cover
I don't know, just arrived home...
Soup is on the table
Grilled cheese and Campbell's
Fuel the troops for fighting
I burnt my tongue
But showed no sign of pain or fear

Too much rain to fight today, oh no
Skinned up knees and grassy stains, oh no
But we've got ground to stand today
And we won't stay indoors...

Chupacabra's on the wing
Now come back down, sir!
Bentley cleared his plate
And then cleared Toto's
Put my faith in Bear and Bartok!

You can hide, but I'll smell it
The stink of wet fur
But you see I don't mind it
You can hide but they'll find you
My team of black birds
You can hide but they'll find you
They'll see your tail behind the bush

If we're picking teams
Stuck with Piggy and his shallow breathing
No piggies on my team
No piggies, no (we'll smash that shit up)
I mean, if we're picking teams...

And if we take this battle to the water
You'll be stripped of skin
By the dancing otters (a cunning breed)
Do you feel that slime between your toes?
The screeching eels are singing
"yah yah yah yah, yah yah yah yah"
They'll pull you down
And pluck your eyes
To eat them!

Too much rain to fight today, oh no
Skinned up knees and grassy stains, oh no
We've got ground to stand today
And we won't stay indoors for anyone!

Little lumps of earth under their nails
Little pink round boys that smell like moss
Escaping out the door before she could
Protect their noses from the frost
Little fingers on the trigger
Their little minds right on the cusp
Of pointing guns at one another
Tree trimmers starting at the trunk

Atop the neighbors dogs
We set our course for North
My comrade dug his spurs too deep
The bastard bit of course
But on the back of Scout, he and I took the lead
We burst forward in the night

We were using hands as guns
They pulled their fingers back like they had bows
They grabbed their chests like they'd been shot
We chucked crab apples forth like they were bombs

And through the neighbors lawns, over the miles of hedges
We tear up flowers melting soundless in their filthy beds
Scout's fur a mess of burs, my skin a swollen grey
I patch his wounds up with my shirt and scrape the mud away

And just beyond over the hill I see a pair of eyes
Our pace, just like the little mean red bouncing spheres, it multiplies
And just beyond, over the hill, a glowing swarm of flies!
We point and shoot, never ask why

Tree fingers and trigger fingers alike
Can both agree
This is a war!

I'll be the dirt soldier
Caught up in the great war
I'll be the dirt soldier
Sent off to...

Too much rain to fight today, oh no
Skinned up knees and grassy stains, oh no
We've got ground to stand today
And we won't stay indoors for anyone!