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Dane Cook
Operation - Monopoly
I had that game Operation, remember that game Operation?
Big naked white guy. He had no pee pee at all
He had no.. Bigok, no scrumdidly-umptious.. no cash and prizes
He was like that guy from Silence of the Lambs, remember
He tucked it in... "Put the lotion in the basket... Put the LOATION
In the BASKET!!"
*guy laughs*
"You're laughing 'cause you've done it you freak!
Your a freak, your a freak!"... I used to do it...
I used to come out of my girlfriends bathroom naked
"Look, I'm just like you."
I was always afraid that one time she would be like...
*WAhhhh* I'm just like you!" AGH "I'm just like you!
Shhhhhh."...
Monopoly, theres another little game. We had Monopoly, everybody had it
No one like it, even if you thinked you liked the game you didn't
And it's simple why, ok
Cause this is anyone here 2 and a half hours into a game of Monopoly
Ready?...
*Booush* "FUCK THIS GAME! It's 4 in the morning grandma, YOU WIN!
I'm sittin on Baltic with crap! I'm paying lunch re-tax out the ass!
And I hate when your the banker
Where did you get the pink 50's you cheating whore!
Don't fucking touch me grandpa, NANA is a cheating whore!
I should cut you head off with this little doggy!"...
"We were so poor growing up, we had to use that iron
We had to actually use that little iron. It's not funny
It takes a long time to iron a shirt with that little iron...
"Mmmmm..ooo *sizzle*... oh *sizzle* shit hot"...