Zach Sherwin
Artists vs TMNT
[Intro]
Epic Rap Battles of History
Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael!
Versus
Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael!
Begin!
[Leonardo da Vinci]
Cowabunga, dude, so let's get it on
Reptiles against the fathers of the Renaissance
We got the classical technique
To kick these three-toed freaks back under the street
I take a turtle and I turn him into mincemeat
You don't really wanna step to da Vinci
I love the ladies, I like to keep it mellow
So let me pass the mic to my man, Donatello
[Donatello di Niccolò]
Hard shell, but you're gross in the middle
Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six-foot chisel
Born in goop, raised in poop
I slice through a group of ninjas like fruit - oops!
[Raphael Sanzio da Urbino]
Yo, Raphael, and I came to flow
Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned til I croaked
I'm an emcee Shredder but I get the feeling
I should pass it up to my man on the ceiling!
[Michelangelo Buonarroti]
Oh, Michelangelo, and I'm a giant!
I made David, but I'll slay you like Goliath!
I'm a rap God, and you can't quite touch me!
This battle's your Last Judgement, trust me!
[Donatello di Niccolò] & [Leonardo da Vinci]
We drop science!
[Raphael Sanzio da Urbino] & [Michelangelo Buonarroti]
We got the mathematics!
[Artists]
The architects of rebirth are rap addicts!
You beat the Foot, but it won't go well
When you catch an Italian boot to the half shell!
[TMNT]
The wisdom of our master (Splinter!)
Taught us not to rush to violence (Splinter!)
But our master (Master Splinter!)
[Michelangelo (Turtle)]
Ain't here, dudes! (Hee-yah!)!
[Leonardo (Turtle)]
I don't think you wanna mess with my katana blade!
Get back in your floppy helicopter, fly away!
[Michelangelo (Turtle)]
I can Bebop and steadyrock a mic, sucka!
I'm a pristine Sistine nun chucka!
[Raphael (Turtle)]
Oh hi, I'm a cool but rude guy
Put you back in school with the tip of my two sai
[Donatello (Turtle)]
Uh, Dona-tell me who you are again dude
Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do
[Donatello di Niccolò]
That's because you mutants are too immature
[Leonardo da Vinci]
You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer
[Artists]
We got the talent, and the mind, and the rhymes so sweet
We're like your NES game, because we can't be beat!
[TMNT]
Go ahead and hate cause we'll just skate on by
You guys draw more dicks than New York Pride
We're the TMNT, drop kicking Italy (Go, Go, Go, Go, Go)
Chowing on your tower made of pizza, save a slice for me!