The other night I took a ride with little ol' Lucy Brown
We went to all the honky-tonks, we really got around
She's five-foot-two with eyes of blue, and pretty as a queen
I didn't know her pop was a city cop, and she was just fifteen

Good morning Judge
Why do you look so mean, sir?
And Mr. Judge, what can the charges be?
If there's been trouble, I will plead not guilty
It must be someone else
You know it can't be me

I filed my income tax return, thought I'd saved some dough
I cheated just a little bit, I knew they'd never know
I got some money back this year, like I always do
They'll have to catch me before I pay Internal Revenue

Good morning Judge
Why do you look so mean, sir?
And Mr. Judge, what can the charges be?
If there's been trouble, I will plead not guilty
It must be someone else
You know it can't be me

My wife and I we separated, just the other day
Last thing that she said to me was "Brother, you will pay"
She said I'll pay her every week, I better never fail
I said before I send you a dime, I'll die right here in jail

Good morning Judge
Why do you look so mean, sir?
And Mr. Judge, what can the charges be?
If there's been trouble, I will plead not guilty
It must be someone else
You know it can't be me