Here's a little story about Mr. Whipple
Thinking about how he'd like to buy a motorcycle
Trying to run down all those fickle people
People squeezing Charmin

Don't be afraid of Mr. Whipple

Then he came across a very fine lady
Goes up to her and says "Hey hey hey baby
Let's go down to the deli
Where I can rub that big old Whipple belly!"

He's got the paper that surely won't grind
When you go to the store he's the one you'll find
When you leave the store he's the one you'll miss
You'll want to give Whipple a big old kiss