[Verse 1]
Call you from my car to say I'll be there in a while
Short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile
Nothing on the radio, I fiddle with the dial
Then I see a sign, the airport's just another mile
I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly
And as I near security, I almost start to cry

[Hook 1]
Well, I hope the Law Enforcement Agents can't tell from my face
I've got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
Because with four balloons of heroin it's getting crowded up in there crowded up in there

[Verse 2]
My mind is all a jumbled and my blood is cold as ice
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise
Relax, I say it's not that bad, it might feel kind of nice
Besides, who hasn't had a finger up there once or twice
I must remember, don't leave any drugs inside the host
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed

[Hook 2]
Well, I say a little prayer, hail Maria full of grace
I've got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air
And I swear I'm farting lines of blow into my underwear from my derrière
[Verse 3]
I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash
Five balloons of ecstasy and six balloons of hash
Eight balloons of LSD and nine of sensimilla
A box of Chinese fireworks, a Guatemalan child
I made it to the gate now, my joy I can't contain
I board the aircraft, take my seat in the cockpit of the plane

[Hook 3]
As I taxi down the runway, I get a smile on my face
I've got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
Flight crew, prepare for take off, as I lift us into air
And by the way does anyone want to buy a Guatemalan child, from my derrière?

[Outro]
I've got three balloons
I've got three balloons
I've got three balloons