[BILL]
Fasten your seat belts
It's gonna be a bumpy night
Eh eh eh eh eh
Batten the hatches
We're gonna have a clumsy flight
Eh eh eh

[KAREN]
She's laughing a bit too loudly
That's how the last one began

[HOWARD]
I figure she's two drinks from the spot
Where you-know-what hits the fan

[MARGO & BILL]
Don't take off your coat
You came the wrong night
Get out while you can
Mother is uptight

[ENSEMBLE]
Fasten your seat belts
It's gonna be
Eh eh eh eh eh eh
A bumpy night

Fasten your seat belts
Say all your prayers
And hold on tight
Drink and be merry
For the Titanic sails tonight
All aboard
It will be a bumpy night

Fasten your seat belts
It's gonna be a bumpy night
Eh eh eh eh
Margo in action
Critics have called an awesome sight
Eh eh eh eh

[BILL]
I've seen the Taj Mahal and on

[HOWARD]
The hanging gardens of Babylon

[BILL, HOWARD, & ENSEMBLE]
But nothing compares with Miss Channing
When she's on
When she's on
When she's on
Yeah, she's on

[MARGO]
Fasten your seat belts
It's really been a bumpy night
I've got a secret:
I think I'm just a wee bit tight
Oh, here's a good party game:
Why don't you all choose up sides
And go home?

[ENSEMBLE]
Thanks for the party
Wow, what a blast!
Pick up the pieces
Let's get out fast
Get your coat
Where's the door?
Man, it's been
Eh eh eh eh eh
A bumpy night
Eh eh eh eh eh
A bumpy night