[Verse 1]
(Pub Doctor)
Tell me what the problem is and I'll prescribe a cure
For I am the Pub Doctor and an expert to be sure
Just tell me what ails you and what has you on the brink
And I will tell the barkeep, just what you need to drink

[Chorus]
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so tell me what you've got
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so I'll prescribe a shot

[Verse 2]
(Patron 1)
Doc I get these hangovers that make me feel so sick
I don't know just what to do and I need an answer quick

(Pub Doctor)
Take this jug of whisky every hour drink a cup
If you don't want a hangover then you should nеver sobber up

[Chorus]
[?] Take to drink, so call mе in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so tell me what you've got
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so I'll prescribe a shot
[Verse 3]
(Patron 2)
Doc I think I need your help for I have a great fear

(Pub Doctor)
Tell me all about it while I order up a beer

(Patron 2)
I think my wife is poisoning me and trying to end my life

(Pub Doctor)
You should drink the poison, sir, I have met your wife

[Chorus]
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so tell me what you've got
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so I'll prescribe a shot

[Verse 4]
(Patron 3)
Doc how's that young sailor who was with us here last night?
We're all feeling guilty and we hope that he's all right
We made him swallow all those coins just to win a bet

(Pub Doctor)
Oh, I'm sure that he'll be fine but there is no change yet
[Chorus]
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so tell me what you've got
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so I'll prescribe a shot

[Verse 5]
(Pub Doctor)
Sir, how is your pregnant wife, has there been any change?

(Patron 4)
I asked how she was feeling and her answer was so strange
Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, can't is all that she would say

(Pub Doctor)
She is having contractions man! You should get home right away!

[Chorus]
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so tell me what you've got
[?] Take to drink, so call me in the mornin'
[?] Take to drink, so I'll prescribe a shot