[Spoken]
All right, ladies and gentlemen! We would like to do something a little different now! We are now going to do a song that's a little more... somber
Bring it down, bring it down. No no, bring it back up
And now a serious song

[Sung]
[Chorus]
Five seamen bold in one lifeboat
Desperation setting in
Glad they escaped their sinking ship
But now know they can't win
Clearly sacrifice would be the only chance they've got
The only question now is who's going in the pot?

[Verse 1]
I know this isn't easy
And no one wants to start
And I don't mean to bе the callous one
But it seems to have no hеart
The answer here is obvious
It's Meyhem we should eat
He's over six feet tall
And that's a lot of meat!

[Verse 2]
Well ya know that I've been brining
Ever since that I've been alive
So if any of you try to feast on me
Not one of you'd survive
What we need is someone
Who has kept himself quite clean
[?] would be good for us
His meat is very lean
[Chorus]
Our situation desperate
We knew we were at our end
And we hope no other crew
Must make this choice again
We held out for oh so long
But now it's time to choose
Which of us would survive
And who was doomed to lose

[Verse 3]
Now let's not be too hasty here
I'll explain if I can
Thar marbling is where the flavor is
So I'd be dry and bland
But Pete here
He'd be juicy
Full of flavor as we know
And besides, he was raised free-ranged
And completely non-GMO

[Verse 4]
While it's true I may be juicy
But I'm afraid it can't be me
For without me you'd have no chance
Of being rescued from the sea
What we need is someone useless
So it's clear it should be Kane
He's sweet, he's tender, he's so bastey
Anyone else would be insane
[Chorus]
Our situation desperate
We knew we were at our end
And we hope no other crew
Must make this choice again
We held out for oh so long
But now it's time to choose
Which of us would survive
And who was doomed to lose

[Verse 5]
Though it's true
I am delicious
I'm afraid I can't agree
I just can't break the hearts
Of so many friends and family, people love me
No, I'm afraid it can't be me
I can make so many cry
What we need here is Devin
No one cares if he lives or dies

[Verse 6]
Though it's true that I've been told
I have a taste that can't be beat
But remember when you eat me
You'll eat everyone I've eaten
I don't think I'm the one you want
I'll taste of everywhere I've been
No, we should start this over
What are your dumb excuses again?
[Chorus]
Our situation desperate
We knew we were at our end
And we hope no other crew
Must make this choice again
We held out for oh so long
But now it's time to choose
Which of us would survive
And who was doomed to lose

They kept the argument going
As different points were raised
And they argued if it would be best
If their mates were stewed or braised
But they argued so intently
They didn't notice they reached land
Two full hours lost at sea can do strange things to a man
Two full hours lost at sea can do strange things to a man