[Verse 1]
The pirates went a-drinkin' on a rainy Monday night
They settled on a cozy inn with clientele uptight
But we all knew the formula to fill the place with cheer
Pint after pint we cured them all with frosty mugs of beer!

[Chorus]
And our Elixir, it was a sixer
The foundation of every social mixer
We've learned that drinkin'
It sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all!

[Verse 2]
The pirates went a drinkin' on a dandy Tuesday night
We met these lovеly ladies who made us feel alright
In the company of mеn we drank some whiskey, rum and gin
But that's the wrong solution if with ladies you want in

[Chorus]
And out Elixir, it was a spritzer
Don't laugh this sparkling beverage is a fixture
We've learned that drinkin'
It sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all!
[Verse 3]
The pirates went a-drinkin' on a desperate Wednesday night
We'd spent so much lager that our coin was running tight
So little cash on hand, we thought we were out of luck
We'd need a plan to maximize our drinking bang-for-buck!

[Chorus]
And our Elixir, it was hard liquor
Nothing quite like it to get you drunker quicker
We've learned that drinkin'
It sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all!

[Verse 4]
The pirates went a-drinkin' on a dauntless Thursday night
We tried most other alcohols and they were feeling trite
The barkeep says, "If you feel brave I've got a drink for you
But it might blind or kill you or remove an old tattoo."

[Chorus]
And our Elixir, it was a mixture
Don't know what, but my tongue has a blister
We've learned that drinkin'
It sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all!
[Verse 5]
The pirates went a-drinkin' on an angry Friday night
Full of piss and vinegar and spoiling for a fight
So we found a small speakeasy that crowed it's mixology
But we opted for a barroom brawl with no apology

[Chorus]
And our Elixir, was punching hipsters
Knock them out, then make time with their sultry sisters
We've learned that drinkin'
It sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all!

[Verse 6]
The pirates went a-drinkin' on a randy Saturday night
When we asked these girls to join us they rebuffed us with a slight
The ladies didn't swoon at us when we first got started
But they were swaying dangerously when we all departed

[Chorus]
And our Elixir, that'll fix her
Just add alcohol and then you'll be betwixt her
We've learned that drinkin'
It sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all!
[Verse 7]
The pirates went a-drinkin' on a shameful Sunday night
Seven nights of drinking left us feeling quite contrite
We realized our actions ranged from bad to flat depraved
So we started looking for a way to get us saved

[Chorus]
And our Elixir (and our Elixer!), it wasn't scripture (it wasn't scripture!)
It was grog followed by grog just for a kicker (just for a kicker!)
We've learned that drinkin' (learned that drinkin'!)
It sure beats thinkin' (sure beats thinkin'!)
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all (cures them all!)!
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all (cures them all!)!
Life is full of obstacles
The Elixir cures them all (ah-hah!)!