[Verse 1]
I've tried life as a sailor, a pirate and a thief
But it was not 'til now that I knew what I should be
I swaggered through the brothel doors and marched straight ahead
When I reached the counter I looked at the girl and said:

[Chorus]
"I want to be a trollop, a harlot or a whore
I want to be a jezebel, a floozy and what's more
I was meant to be a strumpet, I'm just a tramp at heart
So I'm here to be a prostitute, a hooker or a tart!"

[Verse 2]
Well I guess it shocked her, she did not know what to say
Then she said "That's impossible it doesn't work that way."
"I'll demonstrate just what I got" was the pitch I gave
She nearly had a stroke, but she wasn't quite that brave

[Verse 3]
She told me that I should talk to all the girls upstairs
'Cause no approval I could find would mean more then theirs
When I reached the second floor they poured into the hall
And I said, "Hello ladies, I've got something to tell you all."

[Chorus]
"I want to be a trollop, a harlot or a whore
I want to be a jezebel, a floozy and what's more
I was meant to be a strumpet, I'm just a tramp at heart
So I'm here to be a prostitute, a hooker or a tart!"
[Verse 4]
They laughed and said, "There is no way, it never has been done."
But a girl said "Let's find out" and led me in room Number 1
And six hours later when I left room 24
I knew that I had managed to satisfy the floor!

[Verse 5]
They said, "There's a girl upstairs for special clientele
For you to have a chance she's the one could really tell."
I climbed the stairs, knocked on the door and said to her, "Hello!"
"Before we start anything there's something you should know,"

[Chorus]
"I want to be a trollop, a harlot or a whore
I want to be a jezebel, a floozy and what's more
I was meant to be a strumpet, I'm just a tramp at heart
So I'm here to be a prostitute, a hooker or a tart!"

[Verse 6]
She said that it was funny and she laughed at my plan
And told me I could never hack it because I was just a man
So I said "Let me prove it" and I did lickity-split
And trust me when I tell you, boys, I took my time with it

[Verse 7]
She panted, "I admit it, I was wrong right from the start
Go upstairs and see the Madam and you'll work here if she's smart!"
I went to he Madam's office and let myself right in
"Finally!" I thought and I said to her with a grin:
[Chorus]
"I want to be a trollop, a harlot or a whore
I want to be a jezebel, a floozy and what's more
I was meant to be a strumpet, I'm just a tramp at heart
So I'm here to be a prostitute, a hooker or a tart!"

[Verse 8]
"I'll give you just one chance to prove you're not out of your head,"
And I knew that I had proved it when she looked at me and said
"Gee, you found the spot I thought was legend or a myth
You make a perfect case that I find hard to argue with!"

[Verse 9]
Women now are working on the ships and docks and shores
And should have the same options as the men who came before
So now I have a job taking care of ladies' needs
And all you jealous bastards should come sing along with:

[Chorus]
"I want to be a trollop, a harlot or a whore
I want to be a jezebel, a floozy and what's more
I was meant to be a strumpet, I'm just a tramp at heart
So I'm here to be a prostitute, a hooker or a tart!"

"I want to be a trollop, a harlot or a whore
I want to be a jezebel, a floozy and what's more
I was meant to be a strumpet, I'm just a tramp at heart
So I'm here to be a prostitute, a hooker or a tart!"