Well, life on her crotch is kind of laid back
Watching them peckers trying to get in her crack
I'm getting messy when they slip me off the track
Thank god I'm a pubic hair

Well, she fluffs me up when she's going on a date
Brushes me aside when she's gonna masturbate
Scratches me to death if her period's late
Thank god I'm a pubic hair

When she's not feeling horny she uses Vaseline
Takes a little shower and rubs me clean
I appreciate it when I'm covered with cream
Thank god I'm a pubic hair

Well, I like it when they eat but I don't like when they diddle
I get crushed when they're pounding on her middle
Curl right up when she takes a little piddle
Thank god I'm a pubic hair