Blow jobs and hand jobs and eating clitoris
Watching your grandmother douche with Lavoris
Brown pubic hairs on toilet bowl rings
These are a few of my favorite things

Serving bird droppings as warm appetizers
Licking the residue from bathroom sanitizers
Sanding the top of my dick 'til it stings
These are a few of my favorite things

Probing my dick-hole with sharpened lead pencils
Enlargening my asshole with kitchen utensils
Knowing the joy that an egg beater brings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I tell everybody I know to eat shit
And poop on my presents
And then I don't feel, I don't feel bad at all
You fucking scumbag, fucking Christmas shitbird
Fuck you!