[Chorus]
Take up the sheets me hearties
Water the deck with brine
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores
None is bigger than mine

[Verse 1]
Three old whores from Winnipeg
Were drinking a sherry wine
Says one of them to the other two
"Yours is smaller than mine"

[Chorus]
So take up the sheets me hearties
Water the deck with brine
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores
None is bigger than mine

[Verse 2]
"You're a liar" says the other old whore
"Mine's as big as the sea
The battleships sail in and out
And never a bother to me"

[Chorus]
So take up the sheets me hearties
Water the deck with brine
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores
None is bigger than mine
[Verse 3]
"You're a liar" says the other old whore
"Mine's as big as the moon
The ships sail in on the first of the year
They never come out 'til June"

[Chorus]
Take up the sheets me hearties
Water the deck with brine
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores
None is bigger than mine

[Verse 4]
"You're a liar" says the other old whore
"Mine's as big as the air
The ships sail out and the ships sail in
And they never tickle a hair"

[Chorus]
Oh, take up the sheets me hearties
Water the deck with brine
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores
None is bigger than mine

[Verse 5]
"You're a liar" says the first again
I'd blush to be so small
Many's the fleet that sailed right in
And never come out at all"
[Chorus]
So take up the sheets me hearties
Water the deck with brine
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores
None is bigger than mine