[Verse 1]
Now, the portions of a woman that appeal to man's depravity
Are fashioned with considerable care
And what at first appears to be a simple little cavity
Is really an elaborate affair
Now, surgeons who have studied these feminine phenomena
Find numerous experiments on dames
Have taken all the items of the feminine abdomina
And given them delightful little names

[Verse 2]
There's the vulva, the vagina, and the good old [?]
And the hymen, that is sometimes found in brides
There's a lot of little gadgets, you would love 'em if you knew 'em
The clitoris, and Lord knows what besides
What a pity it is then when we common people chatter
Of those mysteries to which I have referred
We used for such a delicate and complicated matter
Such a very short and unattractive word

[Verse 3]
Now, the erudite authorities who study the geography
Of that obscure but entertaining land
Are able to indulge a taste for intricate topography
And view those tasty details close at hand
But ordinary people though aware of their existence
And complexities beyond the public know
Are normally contented to view them from a distance
And to treat them, roughly speaking, as a show
[Verse 4]
When there for all us laymen probe the secrets of virginity
The language that we use is somewhat blunt
And we don't becloud the issue with meticulous latinity
But call the whole concern a little four-letter word
For men have made this useful and intelligent commodity
The topic of a bawdy joke and jive
Yet though the name they call it is somewhat of an oddity
It seems to fit the subject they describe