(Honore)
Look at all the captivating fascinating things there are to do
(Gaston)
NAME TWO
(Honore)
Look at all the pleasures
All the myriad of treasures we have got
(Gaston)
LIKE WHAT?

Look at Paris in the spring when each solitary thing is more beautiful than ever before
You can see every tree almost saying
"Look at me!"
WHAT COLOR ARE THE TREE? Green!
WHAT COLOR WERE THEY LAST YEAR? Green!
AND THE NEXT YEAR? Green!
IT'S A BORE!

Don't you marvel at the power of the mighty Eiffel Tower
Knowing there it will remain evermore!
Climbing up to the sky
Over ninety stories high
HOW MANY STORIES? Ninety!
HOW MANY YESTERDAY? Ninety!!
AND TOMORROW? Ninety!!!
IT'S A BORE!
The River Seine
ALL IT CAN DO IS FLOW
But think of wine
IT'S RED OR WHITE
But think of girls!
IT'S EITHER YES OR NO
AND IF IT'S NO OR IF IT'S YES
IT SIMPLY COULDN'T MATTER LESS
But think of a race with your horse in seventh place
Where the bull is uncontrolled and he charges up and wins with a roar
IT'S A BORE!

Life is thrilling as can be
SIMPLY NOT MY CUP OF TEA
It's a gay, romantic fling
IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING
It's intriguing
IT'S FATIGUING
It's a game!
IT'S THE SAME DULL WORLD WHEREVER YOU GO
WHATEVER PLACE YOU ARE AT
THE EARTH IS ROUND
BUT EVERYTHING ON IT IS FLAT

Don't tell me Venice has no lure
JUST A TOWN WITHOUT A SEWER
The leaning tower I adore
INDECISION IS A BORE
But think of the thrill in a bullfight in Seville where the bull is uncontrolled and he charges at a bull matador!
IT'S A BORE!
Think of lunch beneath the trees!
STOP THE CARRIAGE IF YOU PLEASE
You mean you don't want to come
THE THOUGHT OF LUNCH LEAVES ME NUMB
But I implore
OH, NO, UNCLE, IT'S A BORE!