[BOBBY, SPOKEN]
Sorry I'm late. I hope there aren't any...objections
Your honor, may I approach the bench?

[JUDGE, SPOKEN]
I wish you would

[BOBBY, SPOKEN]
Watch this, kid

[BOBBY]
If it pleases the court
And I know that I do
There's something that I simply must address
I have heard a report
And I swear it's not true
About the secret to my great success
So I am here to set the record straight
There are just two methods that I use
To help me litigate

Bells and whistles
Will get 'em off
Although the purists, they may scoff
All you need are bells and whistles
To win the case
Though other jurists
May say you're a disgrace
The prosecution they may rest
Convinced that they have done their best
Then I start blowin'
I start clangin'
One more Joe avoids a hangin'
Bells and whistles
Are all you need
Plus a comprehensive knowledge of the law

[INSTRUMENTAL]

Plus a comprehensive knowledge of the...

Thank you to the judge and all the members of the jury
I will try to make this brief 'cause I know you're in a hurry
See my client, the defendant Dr. Joshua D. Skinner
He was merely at the club to take his darling wife to dinner
He stumbled on the body of Miss Elsie, the decedent
And you may jump to conclusions, but the fact is that you needn't
The prima facie evidence though it's an avalanche
Will be expressly and indubitably proven circumstantial
The testimony's hearsay and it reeks of retribution
So what we have here is nothing but malicious prosecution
And a verdict of not guilty is the only just solution

Bells and whistles are all you need
Plus a comprehensive knowledge
The kind you get in college
A comprehensive knowledge of the law