Take the rose bush from my hair
Shake loose all them little thorns
What's the sprinkler doin' on
So damn early in the morn
Crawlin' home at 5AM
Lord the sidewalk sure is hard
I guess I drank too much again
Help me make it thru the yard

I don't know what's right or left
I'm too drunk to even stand
Why the devil won't you help me

Please take your foot off of my hand
And put some coffee on the stove
We'll go try to find your car
I can't hack it all alone
Help me make it thru the yard

And get my lawyer on the phone
Help me make it thru the yard