I'd much rather have frog in my throat
Then a porcipine stuck to my face
I'd much rather have a bug in my ear
Then a dog makin' love to my leg

A girl asks you home to meet Mommy and Daddy
She say's she thinks that youre nice
But there's trouble ahead and you'll wish you were dead
If you don't take this friendly advice

Don't pet the dog, don't pet him whatever you do
'cause he ain't been fixed and he knows some tricks
That will sure make a fool out of you
Don't pet the dog he gets it confused with romance
Just leave him alone or the next thing you know
He'll be asking your ankle to dance
You say it's o.k., try to push him away
Whats's his name, does he sit up and beg
You try to be cool but you look like a fool
With a dog makin' love to your leg

Don't pet the dog, he'll boo-boo all over your shoes
'cause he ain't been fixed, and he knows some tricks
That will sure make a fool out of you
Don't pet the dog, he gets it confused with romance
Just leave him alone, or the next thing you know
He'll be asking your ankle to dance
Don't pet the dog